"Every wise woman builds her house, but the foolish one tears it down with her hands." - Prov.14:1
The above scripture has beeninterpreted over time to mean just one thing: a wise woman builds hermarriage.
Does this mean that every broken marriage came to be because the wife was not wise?
Does this mean that the responsibility of marriage is only on the woman?
Could there be more to this scripture beyond what we have heard over time?
Let us rub minds and share together, friends.
Let us think about it and leave ourcomments as the Spirit leads...
Miracle Jesus Hmmm! Honestly both of them has the responsibility of building the home, though most times, if not all the time, the woman shoulders more responsibilities in building the home than the man, and if the building collapses, the woman happens to suffer the more, sometimes it is not because the woman is not wise that her marriage is broken, she may be faithful in playing her part but still the marriage will break, it takes the Holy Spirit and the couples committment to have a successful home, though sometimes you will do your best and something different will happen, but one thing I believe is this; "DO YOUR PART AND ALLOW GOD TO DO HIS OWN!" God will not allow anything bad to happen to His children if it will not be to their own advantage at last, let God do the leadings in every area of your life (especially marriage) and you do the following, believe me no matter what happens, if you hold on to God, He will give you an expected end. GOD BLESS YOU!
April 11 at 11:22am · Like · 2
Bukola Olupona This verse is thought provoking,a lot of times,I wonder if everyone(The Bible,in-laws,society) is been fair to 'the woman' but then Baba took me back to why a woman had to come into the scene in the beginning-there was a vacancy only 'the woman' can fill. The success of marriage lies on the man and the woman,but the most sensitive part belongs to the woman. Until we appreciate the call to womanhood given to us,it may be difficult to meet the expectation on us. Of course,we can't do it by our strength,we must trust God and not compare ourself with some other woman. Remember,you are special,you are unique,you are a woman,above all a Godly woman. Restful night Deborahs.
April 11 at 10:28pm · Like · 2
Bimbola Tayo-Bamidele Amen and Amen. Thank you, Miracle and 'Bukola for your profound insights. I am trusting God that more contributions will come in from other members of the group. Picking points from every comment made will help us get somewhere with this. Thanks again, Miracle and 'Bukola.
April 11 at 10:39pm · Like
Adenike Morounke Adebola Good morning ladies. I was thinking of including this as a separate post but I believe it fits here. I will return to give my comment when time permits. Your Marriage Is Your First Ministry wrote:It may be a fact that there will be UPS & DOWNS in your marriage, you can't change that....but it's also fact that you CAN change how you respond to whatever comes to tear it apart! #ItsYourChoice
April 12 at 9:33am · Edited · Like · 1
Adenike Morounke Adebola Question: Does this mean that every broken marriage came to be because the wife was not wise? Answer: I don't totally agree, though it can be said that she wasn't wise when she agreed to marry the unwise man that ruined the home, lol (if we want to lay the blame on the man) or was not wise enough to follow God's direction at some point. However, I believe that a broken marriage is the result of one or both partners refusing to yield to God at some stage. This is the conclusion I've come to based on what I have been exposed to; I cannot claim to be an authority, though, and I'm open to other perspectives.
April 12 at 10:28am · Edited · Like · 1
Adenike Morounke Adebola Does this mean that the responsibility of marriage is only on the woman? Answer: I don't believe the responsibility of a successful marriage rests solely on a woman. Infact, based on my study of the scriptures (I will post appropriate scriptures when time permits), the conclusion is that God expects MORE from the husband to keep the marriage. This comment should not be interpreted to mean that God expects the woman to do NOTHING. She also has a vital role to play in building the home but she is not solely responsible as the society would have us believe. Having said that, I believe that she has a MAJOR responsibility of prayer (this does not relieve the man of his responsibility of prayer as the head of the home). I don't have any scriptures to back this but I know that the heartfelt prayers of a woman are POWERFUL. And that's one powerful weapon I believe God has equipped us with to build our homes. I will post a separate comment that addresses my thoughts on 'When your marriage becomes your idol' This is the conclusion I've come to based on what I have been exposed to; I cannot claim to be an authority, though, and I'm open to other perspectives.
April 12 at 10:30am · Edited · Like · 2
Bimbola Tayo-Bamidele Wow. Thanks for this, 'Nike. I am still believing God that more contributions will come in... and we will summarize the points at the end. Thank you for taking the time to be a blessing.
April 12 at 10:33am · Edited · Like · 1
Adenike Morounke Adebola Could there be more to this scripture than what we have heard over time? Answer: Yes, there is more. Bimbola's post about our spirits being the 'house' is so ON POINT and FRESH (I pray for more grace, my sister. That post blessed and inspired me. Permission to share, please).
April 12 at 10:36am · Edited · Like · 1
Bimbola Tayo-Bamidele Ah, copyright violation. It is meant for us only na. lol. Go ahead and share, please.And let me use this opportunity to implore us to invite other women whom we know could benefit from this group and could also be a blessing to us in it.He that waters shall be watered and those that save souls are wise. Prov 11:25, and 30.However, please add no one without first seeking their consent/approval. Let no one be added who does not want to be added.Thank you all.
April 12 at 11:16am · Edited · Like · 2
Adenike Morounke Adebola When Marriage Becomes an Idol (A Post I put up in a Group I once belonged to; edited to fit) I was just asking myself this morning 'Why are you passionately against all these kinds of 'How to make your marriage successful' checklists? Why don't you just look away? Then, I realised that at the root of all these checklists is IDOLATRY! Sorry if you're offended but that's the way I see it. Anything that takes your eyes off Christ as the Author and Perfecter of our faith is an idol. People see an accomplished lady and they're checking her finger for a ring. A married woman wakes and sleeps thinking all about marriage. Interestingly, MOST of the women that were commended in the Bible did not get the commendations because they were married (including Deborah; I said 'MOST' just because I can't claim to have studied the Bible enough to say 'ALL', lol); it was their faith that was commended. We have turned marriage into an idol. Many women will do things to save their marriage (even love potion checklists) that they can never do to win souls (which was Jesus' commission to His church) or to improve their walk with God. I know that marriage is honourable and having a successful marriage is a SUBSET of living a successful life. However, it is not ALL your life should be about. All these checklists encourage women to worship their husbands and marriage and do all these things to keep a man faithful. A woman can't keep a man faithful, though she can pray for him. It's not her job to keep her husband faithful; it's up to the man to yield himself to the Holy Spirit and be faithful. Like I said in previous comments, I came to this conclusion based on what I have been exposed to and I am open to other perspectives. God bless you.
April 12 at 11:00am · Edited · Like · 3
Bimbola Tayo-Bamidele Amen and Amen. This is profound. Thanks, 'Nike.
April 12 at 11:17am · Like · 1
Kemi Okpaka Wow! thanks Adenike, for that piece. You just said it! even the non-married are seen and treated as if something is wrong with them. you find ladies advising their single friends, ''don't let this man run away again oh'' as if the whole essence of life is getting married. being single is never a taboo! Its just a time you get to give God all that is you. serving him in the best way you can. because when you are married your attention is divided! you now get to think of hubby and the kids. and frankly, being married requires more work than being single. its time women stop this idolatry, and focus on the one and only starter and finisher of our faith. when we make God our primary focus, every other thing will fall in place. whatever it is that anyone is offering you as help,(in keeping that marriage or relationship) that will take the place of God, or that will take our focus off him, is definitely idolatry. I pray God changes the mindset of women, and grant us wisdom to know when an idol is taking the place of God in our lives. (sorry for my long epistle )
April 12 at 9:35pm · Like · 3
Bimbola Tayo-Bamidele Amen in Jesus' name. Amen. Thanks for shedding more light on this, Kemi. We are getting closer and closer to the end of this. I am still believing God for more light on the scripture before we round it all up. Thanks for your contribution.
April 13 at 6:58am · Like
Abiade Olawanle Abiola Whao! I have been blessed by all the contributions so far. God bless you all real good. My personal interpretation of the scripture in question is this- it is a woman that can ensure the success or failure of her home. However, her decision is greatly influenced by the conduct and commitment of her husband to her and the home. Therefore, if the man is good and committed, yet the woman pulls down the home, she is foolish. If the man is bad and destructive, and the woman is given the grace to keep building, she is wise. If she finds she cannot cope and endure the man's evil ways and decides to leave, she is still wise. The law of love in God through Christ Jesus should be used in determining each individual case. The Spirit of God in us guides and directs His own. So in applying this scripture and its interpretation, we need the Spirit of God and his wisdom.
April 13 at 8:33am · Like · 3
Bimbola Tayo-Bamidele Thank you for your contribution, Abiade. In very few words, you have addressed some sensitive issues and brought out new points to consider. I am trusting God for more contributions before we round this off tomorrow. Then we put all the points together. Thanks, again.
April 13 at 2:56pm · Like · 2
Bimbola Tayo-Bamidele Thanks to everyone that contributed to this discourse: Miracle, Bukola, Adenike, Kemi, Abiade. Thank you so much. Out of your bellies shall flow rivers of more living water in Jesus' name. Amen.I will not repeat the points that you have done adequate justice to. I will only elaborate on the ones I feel we should clarify... and the ones I feel we should emphasize.Truly, the responsibility of ensuring that the home runs smoothly is the man's. They are the ones God will hold accountable for their family... the way He held Adam responsible for the fall. God will not take the excuse of "it is the woman you gave me". This message is for men, so I dont have to go into details here or dig into scriptures because that do not concern us here. Nevertheless, we all know that this world that we are in, including the one of the Bible, is "created to favour men and their cause" lol. Only wise women take it "by force".Alright, let's face the issue here. Women are always held responsible when things go wrong in the home... either with the husband or with the children. That is why women over time have gotten themselves into some unthinkable stuffs just to keep their husbands and their homes... just to stay out of shame or ridicule. Some men don't care."A wise woman builds her house..."That is the only thing a woman has control over: her house. As far as the building of the home is concerned, it takes two to walk together in agreement - the man and the woman. But blessed is the woman who allows God to counsel her into marriage, for even when challenges come, she would be at rest, knowing that she did not take the decision alone. That will keep her sane and confident in trusting God for whatever befalls her.Singles, don't walk into marriage casually. There are valleys of the shadow of death, which only God's presence can see you through.We cannot conclusively say "a wise woman builds her home". If we do, we do injustice to women who gave their all, but could not help the home from falling apart. She can't build it alone... except the man too wants it built. The will of both parties are involved in the building. Yet, the woman is always at the receiving end... well, most times, she is. That is why a wise woman should sort this out before agreeing to a man's proposal. It is part of building her house. It is the only thing she has control over.All a woman can do is do her best and trust God for results. Women should not put themselves through unnecessary stress. Let's settle everything in prayer... do our possible best to ensure we make the home comfortable for the man, and leave the rest for God...Our husbands should not take the place of God in our lives. God's place must be reserved for God. Then our husbands come next. Putting our husband first spells idolatry. God should define our lives, nothing else. God Himself would keep shaking us if we do not have our priorities right... especially if He loves us.And of course, putting God first ensures every other thing falls into its rightful place. A woman who is being abused by her husband should please, leave the home... not her marriage. She should leave the home before he kills her and then fight for her marriage from outside of the home. She should wait for the man to sort himself out and ensure she sees evidences that he is changed before she moves into the home again.In conclusion, the burden to get the home built is always on the woman; please, roll it to Jesus. Let Jesus carry it.A wise woman builds her house. It starts from her foundation. It starts before marriage. When you choose to marry an unwise man, that is not wisdom. When you refuse to seek God's counsel, it is not wisdom. A wise woman builds her house. She lays a good foundation for herself. She cannot determine her outcome, but she does her best to lay the right foundation and build with right materials ....such that even when things happen, she would know she did her best, and would not have regrets or "had I known" stories to tell.Nevertheless, some things happen that we do not understand. We do not have all the answers... and will not claim to.We pray God's peace into every troubled marriage in Jesus' name. We pray for every single to get it right in Jesus' name.We pray for every divorcee that God's perfect will be done in your lives in Jesus' name.And we ask that God's peace will not be removed from every peaceful home in Jesus' name.We also ask that everyone trusting God for a partner, or for children will have their heart desires granted according to God's will in Jesus' name.And we pray that the Lord who knows every man's needs will sort us all out in Jesus' name. Amen.Shalom.
Miracle Jesus Amen! Amen! Amen and a very big "THANK-YOU!" Bimbola God bless you for everything. Lord Jesus, thank you for the life of Bimbola and all the members of this group.
April 14 at 10:40pm · Like · 2
Bimbola Tayo-Bamidele Glory to God, Miracle. And thank God for all of our lives.
April 15 at 6:28am · Edited · Like · 2
Kemi Okpaka Bimbola, this your last comment just sum it up perfectly. God bless you! just as you said, ''We cannot conclusively say "a wise woman builds her home". If we do, we do injustice to women who gave their all, but could not help the home from falling apart. She can't build it alone... except the man too wants it built. The will of both parties are involved in the building. Yet, the woman is always at the receiving end.'' ......................................... the only prayer i have for our single ( and married) women is that God will give them Godly men. men that thirst after him alone, because only these kind of men can give the much deserved God kind of love to their women. i also pray for every home that is going through one turbulence or the other, that the hand of the Lord will rest mightily on these homes, that healing and restoration be granted to them. it well with our homes, and i decree Peace upon our homes and families. Amen
April 15 at 7:56am · Like · 4
Bimbola Tayo-Bamidele Amen. Amen. Amen. Thank you, 'Kemi.
April 15 at 8:11am · Like
Adenike Morounke Adebola Amen and Amen. Thanks Bimbola and Kemi for those powerful prayers.
April 15 at 8:14am · Like · 1
