WHEN HE IS ALWAYS COMPLAINING

Good day ladies. How are you doing? Congratulations to the new brides in the house.
As usual, I'll be sharing a fictional account of some true life stories for deliberation.

Ibukun and Sola have been married for a year. During courtship, Sola was really caring and compassionate. He was so in tune with Ibukun's needs and she could do no wrong in his eyes.
About 4 months after they got married, he started finding faults with many things Ibukun was doing. He has complained about her housekeeping skills, though they work for about the same number of hours daily. He complains about the meals, though friends and neighbours praise Ibukun's culinary skills. He thinks she is wasteful, though she rarely asks him for money.
Ibukun feels drained every day and feels so dejected and alone as she had to move to another city after marriage.
As usual, I have many questions.
1. Is Ibukun overly sensitive or are these serious issues that need to be addressed and resolved?
2. If so, what can Ibukun do to address the issues?
3. Are there signs one can look out for during courtship that could alert one to the possibility of such an issue?

Please share your views and experiences.

WHEN HE WOMANISES

TGD RELATIONSHIP CORNER

Good day ladies. How are you doing? As usual, I'll be sharing a fictional account of some true life stories for deliberation.

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 Rachael and Kingsley had been married for 5 years. Kingsley currently has no stable income. In the course of the 5 years, Rachael has been as supportive as possible of Kingsley's aspiration and dreams. She has collected loan upon loan but there hasn't been much improvement in the business. Rachael has been the primary breadwinner, financing most of the family projects.

To compound matters, Kingsley is a womanizer. Most of the ladies he moves with are single parents. Rachael has been praying and suffering in silence for years, trusting that God will transform Kingsley. What more can she do? 

 

Please share your views and/or scriptural references. 

TGD RELATIONSHIP CORNER - HE'S TOO CLOSE TO HER

Good day ladies. How are you doing? As usual, I'll be sharing a fictional account of some true life stories for deliberation.

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Sharon and Leo have been in a relationship for 5 years. Leo finally asked Sharon to marry him 6 months ago. They are currently planning the wedding.

Leo is Sharon's dream man. She has prayed about the relationship and she has peace about the relationship generally. She has an issue, though, with how close Leo is to Amelia, his colleague in the office. From what she gathered, they are practically inseparable in the office. They spend all their spare time together. They are team mates. A few times that Sharon visited Leo in the office, Amelia was with them the whole time.

Sharon has told Leo about her discomfort with his relationship with Amelia. Leo thinks she's just being possessive and he usually changes the topic at such times.

 

Sharon will like to know:

1. If her concerns are valid.

2. If so, is that enough reason to break off her engagement to Leo?

3. If not, is there anything she can do about their unusual closeness?

4. Can she talk to Amelia about her concerns?

5. If yes, can you help with tips on how to initiate the conversation?

TGD RELATIONSHIP CORNER - DEALING WITH EXES

Good day ladies. How are you doing? As usual, I'll be sharing a fictional account of some true life stories for deliberation.

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Seun and Ola have been courting for 3 years and are making plans to get married. Before Seun met Ola, all the guys she dated are very intelligent, current and business savvy but they are unbelievers.  She loves these attributes but the Lord led her to marry Ola, who is a believer.

 

Her issue is that Ola is not so business savvy; he has missed SEVERAL business opportunities in the 3 years she has known him. The first time, she made a lot of fuss about it and it put a strain on their relationship. Subsequently, she pretends not to notice just to keep the peace.

 

Kunle, one of her exes, has approached Seun with a business deal. He is seeing someone else and they've been platonic friends for about 6 years now without Kunle making advances. She doesn't have romantic feelings for him anymore as well. She is seriously contemplating doing business with him as the potential income from the business deal is sizeable.

 

1. Can she proceed with the deal with Kunle?

2. If yes, what measures can she put in place to assure Ola that her deal with Kunle is STRICTLY BUSINESS?

3. If no, is it fair for her to try to bring Ola up to speed and do the business with him instead?

4. Are there tips she can try out to make Ola become savvy like some of her exes?

5. Will the same rules apply if Ola was the one with an ex who wants to have a STRICTLY BUSINESS deal with him? Will Seun be justified to ask for assurance that they won't cross boundaries?

6. Will the response be different if Seun and Ola were married? If yes, what's the difference?

TGD RELATIONSHIP CORNER - WHEN THE LADY EARNS MORE

Good day ladies. How are you doing? As usual, I'll be sharing a fictional account of some true life stories for deliberation.

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Itunu has been praying and trusting God for a future partner since she was 18. She is now 35 years old. She has a lot of stories to tell about the different insults she has been subjected to as a matured single woman.

Segun is a brother in church. He is in the same department as Itunu and has proposed to her. He is good looking. He is friendly and courteous. He pays attention to Itunu's emotional and spiritual needs. He is always ready to listen her.  However, he is not gainfully employed and does not possess many marketable skills. Itunu's concern is that if they get married, she will be the one bearing the financial burden in the family and that there is a potential for that to eventually cause marital problems.

 

1. Are Itunu's fears unfounded?

2. If yes, how can a woman manage a union where she earns more than her husband so that the man does not feel emasculated?

3. Is it okay for a woman to perpetually bear the financial burden of a family? Is there a way she can motivate/encourage the man to improve his earning potential?

4. In a case where the woman has been bearing the financial responsibility and after the man begins to earn more income, he refuses to be more financially involved, what can the godly woman do?

 

Please share your views and/or scriptural references. 

HOUSEWORK

TGD RELATIONSHIP CORNER

HOUSEWORK

Good day ladies. How are you doing?

I stumbled on this statement as I searched for today’s discussion topic. I think it’s worth talking about.

“Having a husband creates an extra 7 hours a week of housework for women, while a wife saves a man an hour of housework per week, according to a University of Michigan study of a nationally representative sample of US families.”

Seriously? Why will any lady sign up WILLINGLY (and even fast and pray) for 7 extra hours of housework per week. The statistic suggests to me that ladies put in 6 extra hours of housework that the man would have left undone if he was alone.  This makes me wonder if women just LOVE  housework, lol.

Seriously, can we talk about housework? How involved should a man be in housework? Which housework is in and which is out? How much of a boyfriend/fiancé’s housework should a lady get herself involved in? What options are available to a lady whose husband won’t lift a finger to help around the house?

Please share your views and experiences. You can also leave us a comment on the blog using the link below.

TGD RELATIONSHIP CORNER - THE FIRST NIGHT

Good day ladies. How are you doing? As usual, I'll be sharing a fictional account of some true life stories for deliberation.

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Peace and Christian had been courting for 3 years and after crossing all the hurdles they had to, they are now man and wife. Peace married as a virgin.

 

It's their first time having intercourse and they're having difficulties with penetration. Peace is experiencing a lot of pains, though she's eager. 

 

1. What godly options are available to them?

2. What can a lady who is preparing for her marriage do to make the first night pleasurable for both of them?

 

Please share your views and/or scriptural references. Please keep your comments clean and godly.