HEALTH DISCUSSIONS - 001

Good morning ladies.

A few of our sisters have asked health-related questions or raised prayer requests along these lines - irregular menstrual cycle, delayed conception, miscarriages, secondary infertility etc. We have prayed about them. We believe also in giving PRACTICAL advice.
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Do you have any practical advice for any of our sisters dealing with any of these conditions (and others not listed)? Are you a certified healthcare practitioner? Please can you share from your wealth of knowledge with our sisters?

**Please note that the best way to get PROPER diagnosis and treatment for your peculiar case is to see a certified Healthcare Practitioner**

If you ARE or can recommend a good HEALTHCARE PRACTITIONER, please send an email to thegatheringofdeborahs@gmail.com.

Have a blessed and productive day.

VIRGINITY AND SEXUAL PURITY

This week on Deborah's Market Square, we started talking about Virginity. Here are some of the comments from our sisters. We'll appreciate your views on this sensitive topic.


"Sorry, but a lot of religious girls are verrrrry naïve. They think that virginity will guarantee them good husbands, because their pastor said something about "how their choice to be chaste, will be honoured". Obviously, that is bunkum - which a lot of them only discover after they've already married monsters.

And as good church girls, they continue praying, treating STIs, hiding bruises, becoming bitter and praying some more.

If you like, spend 20hours a day in church, if you don't use your brain to decide for yourself what you really want, you'll end up with a man that'll make you regret marrying him"

"Hmmm. The issue of marital choices is quite complex. I believe in staying sexually pure before and after marriage. It honors God. However, it does not guarantee a "good" husband (or wife). That part is one of the lies we were told. Godly people still have challenges...Virginity before marriage is honorable. However, it will not guarantee a good marriage.

In the Parable of the Ten Virgins, we are told that there are wise and foolish virgins. We need to tell ourselves home truths.

"Even when you hear some women pray, it's "I got married as a virgin. Why don't I have a child? But so-and-so had abortions and she's now happily married with twins!" And I just wonder, "What miracle did you think was lying in your hymen? Face your own problem! The ten virgins story is an analogy for a lot of things, none of them to do with a woman's hymen"

"I thought that way when I had delays in conception. My mental deliverance came when I read a Christian article online that was supposed to be encouraging me and the author went there. I was like 'huh'. So, God is not obligated to give me a child because I waited? Really?"

"Many religious people are naïve. And arrogant. It's arrogant to think that you're owed a virgin, just because you're one. Like I say, "Every prostitute was a virgin, too"

"However, that does not nullify the fact that sexual purity (not just the presence of a hymen) honors God. And sexual purity should continue after vows are exchanged. Stay true to your vows...."

Interesting conversation, right? So, tell us, what are your thoughts on #Virginity and #Sexual Purity?

WHEN HE IS ALWAYS COMPLAINING

Good day ladies. How are you doing? Congratulations to the new brides in the house.
As usual, I'll be sharing a fictional account of some true life stories for deliberation.

Ibukun and Sola have been married for a year. During courtship, Sola was really caring and compassionate. He was so in tune with Ibukun's needs and she could do no wrong in his eyes.
About 4 months after they got married, he started finding faults with many things Ibukun was doing. He has complained about her housekeeping skills, though they work for about the same number of hours daily. He complains about the meals, though friends and neighbours praise Ibukun's culinary skills. He thinks she is wasteful, though she rarely asks him for money.
Ibukun feels drained every day and feels so dejected and alone as she had to move to another city after marriage.
As usual, I have many questions.
1. Is Ibukun overly sensitive or are these serious issues that need to be addressed and resolved?
2. If so, what can Ibukun do to address the issues?
3. Are there signs one can look out for during courtship that could alert one to the possibility of such an issue?

Please share your views and experiences.

WHEN HE WOMANISES

TGD RELATIONSHIP CORNER

Good day ladies. How are you doing? As usual, I'll be sharing a fictional account of some true life stories for deliberation.

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 Rachael and Kingsley had been married for 5 years. Kingsley currently has no stable income. In the course of the 5 years, Rachael has been as supportive as possible of Kingsley's aspiration and dreams. She has collected loan upon loan but there hasn't been much improvement in the business. Rachael has been the primary breadwinner, financing most of the family projects.

To compound matters, Kingsley is a womanizer. Most of the ladies he moves with are single parents. Rachael has been praying and suffering in silence for years, trusting that God will transform Kingsley. What more can she do? 

 

Please share your views and/or scriptural references. 

TGD RELATIONSHIP CORNER - HE'S TOO CLOSE TO HER

Good day ladies. How are you doing? As usual, I'll be sharing a fictional account of some true life stories for deliberation.

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Sharon and Leo have been in a relationship for 5 years. Leo finally asked Sharon to marry him 6 months ago. They are currently planning the wedding.

Leo is Sharon's dream man. She has prayed about the relationship and she has peace about the relationship generally. She has an issue, though, with how close Leo is to Amelia, his colleague in the office. From what she gathered, they are practically inseparable in the office. They spend all their spare time together. They are team mates. A few times that Sharon visited Leo in the office, Amelia was with them the whole time.

Sharon has told Leo about her discomfort with his relationship with Amelia. Leo thinks she's just being possessive and he usually changes the topic at such times.

 

Sharon will like to know:

1. If her concerns are valid.

2. If so, is that enough reason to break off her engagement to Leo?

3. If not, is there anything she can do about their unusual closeness?

4. Can she talk to Amelia about her concerns?

5. If yes, can you help with tips on how to initiate the conversation?

TGD RELATIONSHIP CORNER - DEALING WITH EXES

Good day ladies. How are you doing? As usual, I'll be sharing a fictional account of some true life stories for deliberation.

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Seun and Ola have been courting for 3 years and are making plans to get married. Before Seun met Ola, all the guys she dated are very intelligent, current and business savvy but they are unbelievers.  She loves these attributes but the Lord led her to marry Ola, who is a believer.

 

Her issue is that Ola is not so business savvy; he has missed SEVERAL business opportunities in the 3 years she has known him. The first time, she made a lot of fuss about it and it put a strain on their relationship. Subsequently, she pretends not to notice just to keep the peace.

 

Kunle, one of her exes, has approached Seun with a business deal. He is seeing someone else and they've been platonic friends for about 6 years now without Kunle making advances. She doesn't have romantic feelings for him anymore as well. She is seriously contemplating doing business with him as the potential income from the business deal is sizeable.

 

1. Can she proceed with the deal with Kunle?

2. If yes, what measures can she put in place to assure Ola that her deal with Kunle is STRICTLY BUSINESS?

3. If no, is it fair for her to try to bring Ola up to speed and do the business with him instead?

4. Are there tips she can try out to make Ola become savvy like some of her exes?

5. Will the same rules apply if Ola was the one with an ex who wants to have a STRICTLY BUSINESS deal with him? Will Seun be justified to ask for assurance that they won't cross boundaries?

6. Will the response be different if Seun and Ola were married? If yes, what's the difference?

TGD RELATIONSHIP CORNER - WHEN THE LADY EARNS MORE

Good day ladies. How are you doing? As usual, I'll be sharing a fictional account of some true life stories for deliberation.

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Itunu has been praying and trusting God for a future partner since she was 18. She is now 35 years old. She has a lot of stories to tell about the different insults she has been subjected to as a matured single woman.

Segun is a brother in church. He is in the same department as Itunu and has proposed to her. He is good looking. He is friendly and courteous. He pays attention to Itunu's emotional and spiritual needs. He is always ready to listen her.  However, he is not gainfully employed and does not possess many marketable skills. Itunu's concern is that if they get married, she will be the one bearing the financial burden in the family and that there is a potential for that to eventually cause marital problems.

 

1. Are Itunu's fears unfounded?

2. If yes, how can a woman manage a union where she earns more than her husband so that the man does not feel emasculated?

3. Is it okay for a woman to perpetually bear the financial burden of a family? Is there a way she can motivate/encourage the man to improve his earning potential?

4. In a case where the woman has been bearing the financial responsibility and after the man begins to earn more income, he refuses to be more financially involved, what can the godly woman do?

 

Please share your views and/or scriptural references.