TGD RELATIONSHIP CORNER - THE FIRST NIGHT

Good day ladies. How are you doing? As usual, I'll be sharing a fictional account of some true life stories for deliberation.

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Peace and Christian had been courting for 3 years and after crossing all the hurdles they had to, they are now man and wife. Peace married as a virgin.

 

It's their first time having intercourse and they're having difficulties with penetration. Peace is experiencing a lot of pains, though she's eager. 

 

1. What godly options are available to them?

2. What can a lady who is preparing for her marriage do to make the first night pleasurable for both of them?

 

Please share your views and/or scriptural references. Please keep your comments clean and godly.

TGD Career Corner - Building Effective Business/Career Relationships (1)

Good day ladies. How are you doing? Sorry for the unplanned break. I needed to recharge. Who missed "Career Corner", lol?

 

Today, we'll start off on the series "Building Effective Business/Career Relationships". I believe the issue is broad enough to justify more than one session.

 

If you plan to succeed in today's business world, you need to be able to relate well with other people. No matter how sound you are technically (or how spiritual you are), if you don't relate well with people, your career/business will be adversely impacted. Here are a few tips to help you build effective work relationships.

 

1. Identify key relationships that have the greatest influence on your business/career and nurture these relationships, without neglecting other relationships.

Before I made up my mind on the career path I wanted to follow, I participated in the training by one of the banks that would then determine if one would be employed by the bank. Imagine my shock when I was told I had to turn in a resignation letter when I told them I was no longer interested in participating in the training. Anyway, one of the courses in the training was "Managing your boss". I didn't stay long enough to take the course but thankfully, I kept the course materials and reviewed it on my own. I've also been opportuned to take a similar course.

You need to realise that your boss and team members have a great influence on how your work experience will be. As a business owner, it is important to identify the customers that bring in most of your revenue and those that don't bring in so much. Keep in mind that some do not bring in so much revenue but might have some other value they're adding. You also need to identify the members of staff that do most of the productive work (that EVENTUALLY translate to revenue) and those who are not that productive. You'll also need to do this if your job requires you to manage others. 

 

2. Spend time to nurture these important relationships When I started working, I used to "face my work", send emails and expect people to be professional. After a few years (and after attending a few trainings), I realised that there is this thing called "people skills" and I lacked it! I also learnt that it was possible to learn it. One size doesn't fit all. I've learnt to manage my bosses as I've been blessed to have 2 bosses that talk a lot (and are terrific) and I'm more of a "get to the point" person. I'm learning how to LISTEN patiently, even if I think I know where the conversation is headed. In case you didn't know it, cutting people off because you THINK you know where they're headed is disrespectful.

 

I have a few more tips to share but I'll like to hear from you sisters.

 

Please share your views and experiences.

TGD RELATIONSHIP CORNER - SPIRITUAL INCOMPATIBILITY

Good day ladies. How are you doing? As usual, I'll be sharing a fictional account of a true life story for deliberation.

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Gbemi had been praying for a life partner since forever. God had given her signs of "he that was to come". She met Soji when she went for a professional seminar. He was one of the facilitators. They shared the same table during lunch and got friendly. She noticed that there was no ring on his finger. They exchanged numbers that day and Soji kept in touch.

 

Soon, they started talking every day and before long, they started meeting for lunch dates. The signs Gbemi saw of "he that was to come" were all present in Soji. After two years, he proposed and they eventually got married.

 

After a few months, they started having challenges with "doctrinal differences". They prays differently (one of them believes in chasing demons/enemies with prayers while the other believes in loving even enemies); one believes that only certain postures were permitted while praying. One believes in sowing anything/everything as money seeds to "secure your future" while the other believes in making solid financial plans as a means of "securing your future".

 

They both attend Gbemi's church but Soji does not genuinely believe all the doctrines in Gbemi's church. He speaks like them when he's with church members but he acts differently. Gbemi believes he is being hypocritical. The friction as a result of frequent disagreements is taking its toll on the marriage. Gbemi believes the marriage is getting in the way of her spiritual growth and is feeling very frustrated. Some counsellors have diagnosed their condition as "spiritual incompatibility".

 

My questions are

1. Is there really such a thing as "spiritual incompatibility"?

2. If yes, how can one identify it before saying "I do"?

3. Is there a way to "treat" the condition and still say "I do" to the same person?

4.  Is there a way to "treat" the condition after saying "I do" without parting ways with one's partner? (i.e, is there hope for Soji and Gbemi to still have a blissful marriage?) 5. If the answer to #4 is yes, what can they do?

 

Please share your views and/or scriptural references.