TGD RELATIONSHIP CORNER - WHEN THE LADY EARNS MORE

Good day ladies. How are you doing? As usual, I'll be sharing a fictional account of some true life stories for deliberation.

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Itunu has been praying and trusting God for a future partner since she was 18. She is now 35 years old. She has a lot of stories to tell about the different insults she has been subjected to as a matured single woman.

Segun is a brother in church. He is in the same department as Itunu and has proposed to her. He is good looking. He is friendly and courteous. He pays attention to Itunu's emotional and spiritual needs. He is always ready to listen her.  However, he is not gainfully employed and does not possess many marketable skills. Itunu's concern is that if they get married, she will be the one bearing the financial burden in the family and that there is a potential for that to eventually cause marital problems.

 

1. Are Itunu's fears unfounded?

2. If yes, how can a woman manage a union where she earns more than her husband so that the man does not feel emasculated?

3. Is it okay for a woman to perpetually bear the financial burden of a family? Is there a way she can motivate/encourage the man to improve his earning potential?

4. In a case where the woman has been bearing the financial responsibility and after the man begins to earn more income, he refuses to be more financially involved, what can the godly woman do?

 

Please share your views and/or scriptural references. 

HOUSEWORK

TGD RELATIONSHIP CORNER

HOUSEWORK

Good day ladies. How are you doing?

I stumbled on this statement as I searched for today’s discussion topic. I think it’s worth talking about.

“Having a husband creates an extra 7 hours a week of housework for women, while a wife saves a man an hour of housework per week, according to a University of Michigan study of a nationally representative sample of US families.”

Seriously? Why will any lady sign up WILLINGLY (and even fast and pray) for 7 extra hours of housework per week. The statistic suggests to me that ladies put in 6 extra hours of housework that the man would have left undone if he was alone.  This makes me wonder if women just LOVE  housework, lol.

Seriously, can we talk about housework? How involved should a man be in housework? Which housework is in and which is out? How much of a boyfriend/fiancé’s housework should a lady get herself involved in? What options are available to a lady whose husband won’t lift a finger to help around the house?

Please share your views and experiences. You can also leave us a comment on the blog using the link below.

TGD RELATIONSHIP CORNER - THE FIRST NIGHT

Good day ladies. How are you doing? As usual, I'll be sharing a fictional account of some true life stories for deliberation.

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Peace and Christian had been courting for 3 years and after crossing all the hurdles they had to, they are now man and wife. Peace married as a virgin.

 

It's their first time having intercourse and they're having difficulties with penetration. Peace is experiencing a lot of pains, though she's eager. 

 

1. What godly options are available to them?

2. What can a lady who is preparing for her marriage do to make the first night pleasurable for both of them?

 

Please share your views and/or scriptural references. Please keep your comments clean and godly.

TGD Career Corner - Building Effective Business/Career Relationships (1)

Good day ladies. How are you doing? Sorry for the unplanned break. I needed to recharge. Who missed "Career Corner", lol?

 

Today, we'll start off on the series "Building Effective Business/Career Relationships". I believe the issue is broad enough to justify more than one session.

 

If you plan to succeed in today's business world, you need to be able to relate well with other people. No matter how sound you are technically (or how spiritual you are), if you don't relate well with people, your career/business will be adversely impacted. Here are a few tips to help you build effective work relationships.

 

1. Identify key relationships that have the greatest influence on your business/career and nurture these relationships, without neglecting other relationships.

Before I made up my mind on the career path I wanted to follow, I participated in the training by one of the banks that would then determine if one would be employed by the bank. Imagine my shock when I was told I had to turn in a resignation letter when I told them I was no longer interested in participating in the training. Anyway, one of the courses in the training was "Managing your boss". I didn't stay long enough to take the course but thankfully, I kept the course materials and reviewed it on my own. I've also been opportuned to take a similar course.

You need to realise that your boss and team members have a great influence on how your work experience will be. As a business owner, it is important to identify the customers that bring in most of your revenue and those that don't bring in so much. Keep in mind that some do not bring in so much revenue but might have some other value they're adding. You also need to identify the members of staff that do most of the productive work (that EVENTUALLY translate to revenue) and those who are not that productive. You'll also need to do this if your job requires you to manage others. 

 

2. Spend time to nurture these important relationships When I started working, I used to "face my work", send emails and expect people to be professional. After a few years (and after attending a few trainings), I realised that there is this thing called "people skills" and I lacked it! I also learnt that it was possible to learn it. One size doesn't fit all. I've learnt to manage my bosses as I've been blessed to have 2 bosses that talk a lot (and are terrific) and I'm more of a "get to the point" person. I'm learning how to LISTEN patiently, even if I think I know where the conversation is headed. In case you didn't know it, cutting people off because you THINK you know where they're headed is disrespectful.

 

I have a few more tips to share but I'll like to hear from you sisters.

 

Please share your views and experiences.

TGD RELATIONSHIP CORNER - SPIRITUAL INCOMPATIBILITY

Good day ladies. How are you doing? As usual, I'll be sharing a fictional account of a true life story for deliberation.

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Gbemi had been praying for a life partner since forever. God had given her signs of "he that was to come". She met Soji when she went for a professional seminar. He was one of the facilitators. They shared the same table during lunch and got friendly. She noticed that there was no ring on his finger. They exchanged numbers that day and Soji kept in touch.

 

Soon, they started talking every day and before long, they started meeting for lunch dates. The signs Gbemi saw of "he that was to come" were all present in Soji. After two years, he proposed and they eventually got married.

 

After a few months, they started having challenges with "doctrinal differences". They prays differently (one of them believes in chasing demons/enemies with prayers while the other believes in loving even enemies); one believes that only certain postures were permitted while praying. One believes in sowing anything/everything as money seeds to "secure your future" while the other believes in making solid financial plans as a means of "securing your future".

 

They both attend Gbemi's church but Soji does not genuinely believe all the doctrines in Gbemi's church. He speaks like them when he's with church members but he acts differently. Gbemi believes he is being hypocritical. The friction as a result of frequent disagreements is taking its toll on the marriage. Gbemi believes the marriage is getting in the way of her spiritual growth and is feeling very frustrated. Some counsellors have diagnosed their condition as "spiritual incompatibility".

 

My questions are

1. Is there really such a thing as "spiritual incompatibility"?

2. If yes, how can one identify it before saying "I do"?

3. Is there a way to "treat" the condition and still say "I do" to the same person?

4.  Is there a way to "treat" the condition after saying "I do" without parting ways with one's partner? (i.e, is there hope for Soji and Gbemi to still have a blissful marriage?) 5. If the answer to #4 is yes, what can they do?

 

Please share your views and/or scriptural references.

TGD Career Corner - Developing Career/Business Goals

Good day ladies. How are you doing?

Today we will be addressing two topics at once. It's my way of apologizing for not posting for 2 weeks in a row. Please pardon me.

 

Actually the purpose and processes involved for developing career  and business goals are similar. I'll just talk about both at once.

 

Your career/business goals should guide your career/business choices. There is a reason why football pitches have goal posts. If there were no goal posts, it will be difficult, if not impossible, to determine who won a football match. The goal post thus guides the thoughts and actions of the footballers and their coaches. Everything a footballer and a coach does should guide them towards getting the ball into their opponents' goal post and should keep their opponents and misguided team members from getting the ball AWAY from their own goal post.

 

As we are believers, the first place to develop career/business goals is from the Throne Room of Grace. Ask God why He's still keeping you here. Any career/business goal that is not related to why you're on earth is an exercise in futility. If you are already on a career/business path that YOU or someone else chose for you, it's time to pause and spend some time talking to God about it and take notes. He'll tell you...

 

After you've reconciled your career/business path/goals with your eternal purpose, there are tips that will help you make the career/business goals Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic (relatively though) and Time-bound (S.M.A.R.T). I'll share some and I'll rely on others, including you sis, to tell us the rest.

 

1. Express your career/business goals POSITIVELY. State what should happen, not what shouldn't.

 

2. Include a target date/month/year for achieving the goals. Let the Holy Spirit guide you on the timing. Many people have found themselves in trouble because they pursued God's agenda using THEIR own timing...It took Jesus Christ 30 years to prepare for a 3 year ministry...

3. Let the Holy Spirit lead you with respect to setting priorities. Some priorities will jump out as one goal may precede another. Others are not so obvious.

 

4. Break the goals down into small achievable tasks. That way, it's easy to get some motivation to continue on the journey from the sense of accomplishment derived from completing daily tasks. Your true motivation should come from God.

 

5. Write your career /business goals down and keep them visible. You can post them on your fridge, save on your phone etc

 

6. Review your career goals/business plan periodically.

 

Please share your views and experiences on Developing Career/Business Goals. Scriptural references are welcome.

TGD RELATIONSHIP CORNER - BLENDED FAMILIES

Good day ladies. How are you doing? I have a fictional account of a true life story I'll like us to deliberate on.

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Sharon has been praying for a life partner. Suitor after suitor has come but her pastor has told her that they are not the ones for her. Finally, Kingsley comes along and she talks to her pastor about him. Kingsley is a widower with grown kids. He claims that he heard that God tell him that Sharon is his wife. Sharon's pastor also confirmed that Kingsley is the "One".

 

Sharon does not mind being married to Kingsley but her challenge is with his children. She can't honestly love them as her own. She feels they'll always compete with her for Kingsley's affection. Already, there is a very close bond between Kingsley and one of his daughters, Kate.

 

Can we talk about blended families? A blended family is one where one or both of the spouses have children from another relationship (previous or extra-marital).

 

1. Is it okay to refuse to marry a man because he is a widower?

2. If one chooses to marry a widower, what kind of questions should she ask before exchanging vows?

3. How should a lady deal with her step-children, particularly the ones that are really close to the father? Please share tips that can help manage these relationships 4. How should one relate with her stepmum? Please share tips that can help manage this kind of relationship.

 

Please share your views, experiences and even scriptural references.