When The Woman Is Richer Or More Influential

TGD Relationship Corner

Good morning sisters.  Today's post is dedicated to the two women that have stood up to be counted in the US Presidential elections - Senator Hillary Clinton and Dr. Jill Stein.  It is a great day for women,  no matter how #AmericaDecides.

As I read through the articles,  posts and memes, one article stood out to me and inspired this reawakening of the relationship corner.  It was the article where the question was asked - If Hillary Clinton emerges as the president, how will her husband be addressed?  The first answer that came to me was Ex-President. Thankfully,  he has enough achievements under his belt not to be intimidated by his wife's achievements.

My mind quickly turned to the regular woman on the street that finds herself in a position where she earns more or has more influence than her husband presently.  As usual,  I have a few questions.

1. Should a woman reject a position that gives her more money than her husband?  Why?  Why not?
2. If she accepts the position,  are there things she needs to do to make the man not feel intimidated? Or is it all up to the man to deal with?
3. What if the man is sabotaging her efforts and stifling her? What can she do in such circumstances?

4. Are there questions that need to be asked during courtship to help couples deal with the issue of the wife earning more than the husband?

Please share your views and experiences.

Should A Believer Sin To Win Souls To Christ?

TGD Relationship Corner

Good morning ladies. How are you doing?
Today, we'll be discussing a topic raised by one of our sisters in our WhatsApp group.

A guy proposed love to a lady and the lady accepted but she said no sex unless the guy becomes a Christian. The guy also said if only the lady allows him sex, he Will give his life to Christ. The lady gave him a chance to make love to her and from that time the guy became a real christian and he is now a pastor.

Questions
(1) Did the lady win the guy's soul for Christ?
(2) Did the lady sin?
(3) Should we sin to win souls for Christ?

What do you think? Let's share ideas and learn something from this story. What is your opinion please?

Divorce Discussions Part 3

Good day.

We had a very interesting discussion on Deborah's Market Square about divorce last week. The discussion will be summarized in 7 parts. Please share your thoughts on any of the issues raised.

A sister shared about a twice divorced man who blamed his mother and all the women in his life for all his woes. And the divorce discussion started.

“What should the wife of the occultist who has been asked to donate their ability to have children do?”

“How did she marry an occultist in the first place? Hmmmmmm. When the foundation is destroyed, what can the righteous do? At every point in our lives, we should ask God for guidance. Psalm 119:105”

 “That's why I'm of the opinion that we should have professional marriage counsellors not church marriage counselor to help married people. My pastor was against divorce for so long, but recently he shared a story and said he told the lady to leave the marriage... A lot of church folks were shocked but you don't even want to imagine what some women have to face behind closed doors”

“There is nothing God cannot still do, no matter how long gone we are deep in trouble, HE is ever faithful and just. Not your pastor alone. At times what we close to you as your skin go through behind closed doors. For the fact that your man does not fornicate does not mean he does not have a problem you are dealing with. And vice versa”

“Should divorce be encouraged in Marriage?  Should a woman reconcile with a man who has committed social crime against her, and he is still having extra marital affair”

“As much as I would say...it shouldn't be.  I feel whatever the case...it should be worked on. However, in a case of abuse....walk away (not divorce) and settle from outside...instead of staying in and dying before settlement.”

 ‘You need to see what some men go through as well all in the name of marriage. They are stuck with demons as wives”

 “Na to pick race run oh [Lady married to a cultist]...I have an aunty that divorced her hubby when they got married and she saw a wardrobe full of jazz.. Na run she run biko. He said he uses it to protect his business... If she can’t cope, she can take a walk. lobatan.com

 “I know women who abuse their husbands. So it means its 80% men abusers and 20% women abusers too”

 “Marriage in deceit can lead to divorce....Yes”

Divorce Discussions Part 1

Divorce Discussions Part 2

Divorce Discussions Part 4

Divorce Discussions Part 5

Divorce Discussions Part 6

Divorce Discussions Part 7

Divorce Discussions Part 2

Good day.
We had a very interesting discussion on Deborah's Market Square about divorce last week. The discussion will be summarized in 7 parts. Please share your thoughts on any of the issues raised.
A sister shared about a twice divorced man who blamed his mother and all the women in his life for all his woes. And the divorce discussion started.

 

“If the man and woman play their God given role, and no one is usurping the role of the other, I tell you, there won't be room for divorce. That is for a godly marriage o. Then, any marriage that is not godly should expect worldly result”

“I've met people who said they were led and are divorced... And please don't say they weren't led.”

“That seemingly perfect marriage you talk about is not actually perfect but they are working relentlessly to make it work. Do you know how many times, pastors and their wives get divorced? My sister, na battles of life o”

“As I sit here I know about 4 married men cheating on their wives shamelessly and the wives preach about how perfect their marriages are. But no be me go tell them pe, your husband is a cheating Mr Randy. And you should protect yourself. I wish I could. For disease sake. My conclusion: that your boat is rocking Now, don't mean it can crash... Life happens sometimes. Be wise.”

“So many things happen in marriages that we don't pray for. But wetin man go do? As for me, I pray and at the same time occupy my mind with making the best of it”

 “What is the definition of "a godly marriage"?”

“That is another issue on its own...Are you obligated to tell a person if their spouse is cheating, at least for disease sake....In my opinion, there are things one can work around and there are things that are deal breakers...”

“No be me go carry bad news go tell person”

 “A godly marriage is a marriage in accordance to the rules and ordinances of God. For the fact that a wedding is conducted in the church does not mean it is godly. A lot of people get married in the church and leave God right in the church, they don't go home with HIM. So, where is GOD in their marriage?”

 “So, what are these rules and ordinances?”

 “You know why we Christians live in a limbo, religion because I never see any rules and ordinances wey censor marriage”

“If one of them took God home and the other did not, what does the partner that took God home do?”

“Even the people that claim to know GOD, send GOD on errands when they start the marriage and when there is a bump, they start looking for HIM”

 “What exactly are the rules & ordinances?” I assume - don't slap or cheat on your spouse - should be on that list but people keep doing such, then demand the other party stay”

“What if two of them took God home... How do you know they didn't take God home sef?”

“My sisters, God is the author of marriage. Eph 5: 21 down”

 “There are things outlined in Ephesians 5, Colossians 3 and another one I can't remember now. If BOTH HUSBAND AND WIFE follow these guidances, life will be alright. When ONE of them is doing as he/she pleases while expecting that other will listen to what the Bible says, there are deep issues.”

“There rules and ordinances are scattered all over the books of the Bible”

“No. There are atheists, agnostics, Hindus, traditionalists that have good marriages - they don't refer to or care about Ephesians or any other letter”

“Funny how we shy away from questions when it comes to the Bible. I like to think that Christ today would not have minded questions, the source irrespective. Marriage has principles - principles not subject to religion. Whoever applies them would have a great marriage.”

“Yes I know,but is there any rule to how to react when your husband is cheating on you. Or when you realise after being married for 10 years that he's an occultic man”

“Proverbs 6:26-29”

“There are people not of our faith who have fantastic marriages. A good marriage is not an exclusive right of a Christian. It involves both parties deciding to do the work the marriage requires. It's a pity that no matter what some people for this our world no well and some people have to marry them. Every marriage is unique, no two marriage wey be the same, one shouldn't advise another based on their own marriage reality”

“God will judge the cheating men. As women, we must play our own part.”

 “What is the part of the cheated spouse? Continue to have unprotected sex with a philanderer? Lock up and continue to watch as he wastes your family resources on "strange women"?”

“ Prov 5: 15 – 20”

Divorce Discussions Part 1

Divorce Discussions Part 3

Divorce Discussions Part 4

Divorce Discussions Part 5

Divorce Discussions Part 6

Divorce Discussions Part 7

Divorce Discussions Part 1

Good day.

We had a very interesting discussion on Deborah's Market Square about divorce last week. The discussion will be summarized in 7 parts. Please share your thoughts on any of the issues raised.

A sister shared about a twice divorced man who blamed his mother and all the women in his life for all his woes. And the divorce discussion started.

“So no one should marry divorced men, right? Lol”

“Big question o”

“Will make a good debate question”

“ True o”

“At what point can a divorcee be said to be right?”

“ Should a godly lady settle for one?”

“ I didn't say once a person is divorced, they're no good, oh. But two times divorced is a red flag. And the person is still saying it's the other party's fault? No-go area oh”

“The main point of this sha - was relationship with the mother. If it's not healthy (including with the right boundaries), the man is not it”

“What does the Bible say about divorce?”

“The bible isn't complete on the subject of divorce”

“Sometimes, a marriage doesn't work out. It's life. But when the same person keeps jumping in and out, claiming to be the victim (meaning they didn't learn anything), they are the problem”

 “There are certain things you can't clear the air on when it comes to human beings... I agree with your point, the Bible really isn't clear on divorce”

“Where is the God factor... I am referring to godly marriages breaking up.  Are we not supposed to be led of the spirit before walking in?”

“A person who maltreats their mother is not godly abeg. And me, I'm more interested in how a person treats a person they can see. They shouldn't be forming "alliance with something they cannot even see”

 “What is this God factor you're talking about, can enlighten me?”

Yes, any man that maltreat his mother is not godly I agree”

“I think the trap we fall into as believers is that we don't consider each situation as a unique one. We're looking for the "Almighty" formula for ALL marriages. When to stay and pray, separate or seek a divorce vary for each situation and it's unrealistic to have a clear path”

“The Bible is very clear on Divorce. Matt 19: 6 and 8. Also Malachi 2:16”

 “That stance has got Christians in the place we're struggling to get out of.”

 “Actually, no. The bible is not & has never been a complete document on marriage. It will never be”

“When God says he hates something, don't even consider it. HATE is a very strong and binding word.”

“And if I will put in my last word before I start sipping my juice, the word in Mal 2:16 was PUTTING AWAY.”

 “The bible refers to "putting away"; "divorce" is a very soft word for what was going on, in the days that the bible was written. Try & read in context. And do a bit more research, too. The bible has LIMITED information; fact. For instance, did you know it was the culture of men putting women away after doing see-finish, that JEWISH LAW which is what Jesus quoted - was trying to address? Women in Jewish culture, even today, are considered less than animals. So, they couldn't file for divorce. There's a prayer that very traditional Jews make till today, translated into, "Thank you Lord that I'm not a slave, a eunuch or a woman"

“There are Biblical allowances for divorce. Divorce shouldn't be the FIRST option but sometimes, it's the only option...What should a woman whose husband served her divorce papers do?”

“Let's stop bringing put verses out of the Bible, read the whole chapter and understand what is being written… For me I say to each his own... If my sin is divorce, yours might be being judgemental or lying or extortion. The idea here is no human is perfect, yes, we seem to pick some human decision as bigger sins than some seeming small ones. One cannot be in a seeming perfect marriage and judge other people's decision in theirs.”

“God factor refers to praying before committing. If both parties were truly led by God into marriage...then when storm comes...you can take it back to Him who led you in. What we have these days are people rushing in without being led”

 

Divorce Discussions Part 2

Divorce Discussions Part 3

Divorce Discussions Part 4

Divorce Discussions Part 5

Divorce Discussions Part 6

Divorce Discussions Part 7

HEALTH DISCUSSIONS - 001

Good morning ladies.

A few of our sisters have asked health-related questions or raised prayer requests along these lines - irregular menstrual cycle, delayed conception, miscarriages, secondary infertility etc. We have prayed about them. We believe also in giving PRACTICAL advice.
...

Do you have any practical advice for any of our sisters dealing with any of these conditions (and others not listed)? Are you a certified healthcare practitioner? Please can you share from your wealth of knowledge with our sisters?

**Please note that the best way to get PROPER diagnosis and treatment for your peculiar case is to see a certified Healthcare Practitioner**

If you ARE or can recommend a good HEALTHCARE PRACTITIONER, please send an email to thegatheringofdeborahs@gmail.com.

Have a blessed and productive day.

VIRGINITY AND SEXUAL PURITY

This week on Deborah's Market Square, we started talking about Virginity. Here are some of the comments from our sisters. We'll appreciate your views on this sensitive topic.


"Sorry, but a lot of religious girls are verrrrry naïve. They think that virginity will guarantee them good husbands, because their pastor said something about "how their choice to be chaste, will be honoured". Obviously, that is bunkum - which a lot of them only discover after they've already married monsters.

And as good church girls, they continue praying, treating STIs, hiding bruises, becoming bitter and praying some more.

If you like, spend 20hours a day in church, if you don't use your brain to decide for yourself what you really want, you'll end up with a man that'll make you regret marrying him"

"Hmmm. The issue of marital choices is quite complex. I believe in staying sexually pure before and after marriage. It honors God. However, it does not guarantee a "good" husband (or wife). That part is one of the lies we were told. Godly people still have challenges...Virginity before marriage is honorable. However, it will not guarantee a good marriage.

In the Parable of the Ten Virgins, we are told that there are wise and foolish virgins. We need to tell ourselves home truths.

"Even when you hear some women pray, it's "I got married as a virgin. Why don't I have a child? But so-and-so had abortions and she's now happily married with twins!" And I just wonder, "What miracle did you think was lying in your hymen? Face your own problem! The ten virgins story is an analogy for a lot of things, none of them to do with a woman's hymen"

"I thought that way when I had delays in conception. My mental deliverance came when I read a Christian article online that was supposed to be encouraging me and the author went there. I was like 'huh'. So, God is not obligated to give me a child because I waited? Really?"

"Many religious people are naïve. And arrogant. It's arrogant to think that you're owed a virgin, just because you're one. Like I say, "Every prostitute was a virgin, too"

"However, that does not nullify the fact that sexual purity (not just the presence of a hymen) honors God. And sexual purity should continue after vows are exchanged. Stay true to your vows...."

Interesting conversation, right? So, tell us, what are your thoughts on #Virginity and #Sexual Purity?